It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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