i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
