as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
