dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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