Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize