We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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