No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
