I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
