that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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