haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
