guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
