4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it hurts more in the daytime
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
