Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
