The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
