I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
