I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
