so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
now i know why i became what i already was.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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