there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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