I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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