my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
