Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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