I look better un-naked...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
