Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
