i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
