What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
