One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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