Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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