3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
