those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
