put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
