Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
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