aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
