I puked a lego.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
