Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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