I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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