chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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