Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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