I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
