Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
