so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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