how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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