wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
