So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
