i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
