We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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