Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
