I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
