we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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