I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
