he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
